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The Essential Oyster: A Salty Appreciation of Taste and Temptation, by Rowan Jacobsen

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Review

"A dazzling book about the best bivalves of our time." --Wall Street Journal                  "This verbally and visually succulent book covers 99 types of oysters, most from the shores of North America... The author's appreciation of even the least prepossessing of these bivalves is infectious. Jacobsen makes the case that 'every oyster is a tide pool in miniature, a poem built of salt water and phytoplankton that nods to whatever motes of meaning shaped it.' East Beach Blondes, farmed in Rhode Island, taste like 'brine and ozone; a boardwalk in the rain'; Maine's wild-harvested Belons remind him of 'hazelnuts and anchovies fried in seal fat, with a squishy crunch like jellyfish salad.' In terms of presence, New Brunswick's Beausoleils are 'as clean and inoffensive as a Jehovah's Witness," and wild James River specimens have "oversized muscles and a pale potbelly, like an aging professional wrestler.' Jacobsen may leave noncoastal readers drooling with jealousy, but vicarious oyster slurping is better than none." --Kirkus Reviews"An in-depth guide that is also a highly enjoyable read...Humorous, crafty, and deeply informative." --Publisher's Weekly (starred review)"A remarkable, essential addition to any food collection." --Booklist (starred review)

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About the Author

Rowan Jacobsen's first book on oysters, A Geography of Oysters, won the James Beard Award in 2008 and helped trigger the oyster mania we now find ourselves in. He is the author of Apples of Uncommon Character, Fruitless Fall, The Living Shore, and American Terroir. He has written for the New York Times, Harper's, Outside, Mother Jones, and others. He maintains the world's two leading web sources on oysters: Oysterguide.com (for his opinions) and OysteRater.com (for everybody else's).

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Product details

Hardcover: 304 pages

Publisher: Bloomsbury USA; 1st Edition edition (October 4, 2016)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 1632862565

ISBN-13: 978-1632862563

Product Dimensions:

7.6 x 1.1 x 9.6 inches

Shipping Weight: 2.4 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review:

4.8 out of 5 stars

48 customer reviews

Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

#64,929 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Oyster farming has brought the lowly oyster from near-extinction to new status as a farm-to-table commodity in high demand among the cognoscenti. Rowan Jaconsen is a passionate oyster lover who writes with the soul of a poet. Think of The Essential Oyster as his insider's guide to the oysters of all North America's coasts, not to mention a handful of others. With flair, grace and elegance, his book surveys the world of oysters and oystering, focusing on what consumers crave: tasting notes, backstories, and an oyster conoisseur's guide to merroir (the oyster world's equivalent to terroir from the wine world), so influential in the essence of each oyster. If you love oysters or want to learn more about the art, science and tasting of these bivalves, this is your book--and you couldn't have a better-informed or more enthusiatic guide.

If you are thinking about buying this book enough to read this review, buy it! You cannot be disappointed when it arrives. Do you want to learn how to eat an oyster (cocktail sauce? plain?) Do you want recipes that will make you grab a beer and start cooking? Do you want photographs that will amaze you with the astounding variety and beauty of nature (the world in a grain of sand, the Mona Lisa in an oyster shell)? And mostly, do you want some of the best thinking and writing about food and nature you'll come across this year? If you even think you might be interested in any of these, buy this book!

Excellent reviews of a good number of oysters. We've been taking it with us when we go out for oysters...we may look like goons, but soon we'll better understand what are likes and dislikes are. The photos and useful information make selecting tasty oysters an easier process now.

Excellent descriptive review of the North American oyster scene. I bought a companion called The Connoisseurs Guide. This tome is equally effusive but has better illustrations. Also briefly covers other bivalves around the world, in addition to the 90 plus examples from the five categories of oysters. He covers each with type (Pacific, Eastern, Kumo, etc) and describes the methods of farming and harvesting. This, along with the aforementioned, provide all you need to know about NA oysters. By the way, both books contain glossaries of oyster joints, although this one omits Boston’s Union Oyster House, which is perplexing.

Great book for all oyster lovers. I did not know that there were that many variety of oysters. Beautifully illustrated. I recommend to anyone wanting to better understand this succulent bivale.

Must read especially for oyster lovers and growers

This was given as a birthday gift to my BIL along with an oyster knife. He loved it.

Fantastically written with detailed accounts of each of the world's best oysters. Beautiful layout with historical information, great photography, and comprehensive accounts of each of the oysters addressed.

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Free PDF True Notebooks: A Writer's Year at Juvenile Hall, by Mark Salzman

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True Notebooks: A Writer's Year at Juvenile Hall, by Mark Salzman

Free PDF True Notebooks: A Writer's Year at Juvenile Hall, by Mark Salzman

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Review

“Extraordinary. . . . Everything about this book seems perfect.” —San Francisco Chronicle “Fresh, galvanizing and articulate . . . a narrative that asks as many questions as it answers. Cogent, thoughtful and honest.” —The New York Times“One cannot read. . . and not be stirred . . . As moving as it is sparse, as revealing as it is concealing, as straightforward as it is complex.” —Los Angeles Times Book Review“Engaging. . . . Salzman creates a cast of lively, convincing, and hugely sympathetic characters and True Notebooks is filled with powerfully moving scenes.” —O, The Oprah Magazine

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From the Inside Flap

In 1997 Mark Salzman, bestselling author Iron and Silk and Lying Awake, paid a reluctant visit to a writing class at L.A.'s Central Juvenile Hall, a lockup for violent teenage offenders, many of them charged with murder. What he found so moved and astonished him that he began to teach there regularly. In voices of indelible emotional presence, the boys write about what led them to crime and about the lives that stretch ahead of them behind bars. We see them coming to terms with their crime-ridden pasts and searching for a reason to believe in their future selves. Insightful, comic, honest and tragic, True Notebooks is an object lesson in the redemptive power of writing.

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Product details

Paperback: 352 pages

Publisher: Vintage; 33611th edition (August 31, 2004)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 0375727612

ISBN-13: 978-0375727610

Product Dimensions:

5.2 x 0.7 x 8 inches

Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review:

4.5 out of 5 stars

96 customer reviews

Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

#58,592 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

In True Notebooks, Mark Salzman presents a unique and interesting tale of his time teaching a writing class in a juvenile detention facility. The stories that come out of Salzman’s experiences with these boys are not just surprising, but also heart-warming, hilarious, and tragic. I read this book as a part of a college English course and, while it is not something that I would typically read of my own volition, I am glad that I had this opportunity to. While True Notebooks does not exactly fall within the regular realms of my reading material, it is nonetheless a well written and compelling book that held my attention the whole way through. One of the most compelling aspects of this book is Salzman’s portrayals of the people he met throughout his experience, especially the boys he taught. However, Salzman’s characterization is not always consistent throughout. While some of the boys come alive as interesting and unique characters, many of them blended together for me and I was only able to identify a few of them by name by the end of the book. This certainly was not helped by the constant changing of the boys in his class and Salzman’s tendency to avoid physical descriptions of the boys. While I understand why Salzman decided to do these things, I do not believe it benefitted my reading experience. I had a similar problem with some of the correctional officers that Salzman met throughout the book, only being able to name two of the officers by the end of the book. Despite these problems, it is clear that Salzman really cares about these characters, and he does a great job of instilling humanity and depth of character into these boys, some of who have done truly terrible things. The most effecting and unique aspect of True Notebooks is Salzman’s use of the boys’ actual essays from the class he taught. Throughout the book when the boys read their essays aloud in the class, Salzman includes the actual writing of the boys that he saved from his time teaching the class. These essays provide the most factual grounding to the story and are both the centralizing aspect and easily the most interesting part of the book. The writing that the boys do is unexpected, emotional, and intriguing. Seeing and reading these actual pieces of writing from incarcerated boys offers an insight into what it is like for these kids, and is unlike anything I have seen elsewhere. These essays are the most unique part of the book and are definitely the number one reason someone should read it. Overall, while some aspects of True Notebooks are not always consistent, ultimately it is very much worth the read, especially if you have any interest in the American prison system, and those who are the most affected by it. While I probably would have never even heard about this book if it were not for my English class, I am glad I got the opportunity read it, and I think you would be too.

I had zero expectations reading this book and it took me by storm. Partially for research on juvenile offenders and partially for philanthropic reasons, author Mark Salzman taught a writing class at a juvenile detention center in LA where most of the teenaged boys were awaiting trial for murder. What follows is in equal terms alarming, hilarious, and sad.What's alarming: the reader gets to know these boys well and even sympathize with them, but the bottom line is that they are killers. In a few cases details about their crimes are provided. Are they deserving of our sympathies? Yes and no. Salzman seems aware of the pitfalls himself, providing perspective occasionally by offering asides about society's point of view (as well as the victims' points of view).What's hilarious: the badinage between the boys. The profanity-laced ribbing they deliver at each other, typical of teenaged boys everywhere, is realistic and merciless. Every weakness is attacked; every mistake is magnified; and yet, they give each other his due when it comes to letting the defenses down to write about feelings.What's sad: the fate of these boys. Almost all are convicted with the maximum sentences with little if any serious defense on the part of their appointed legal representatives. As you hear the stories of their misspent, abused, and neglected youths, you see that the picture is bigger and more complicated than you'd expect.Keep your eye on Mr. Sills, a corrections officer who is hard as nails on the outside, but caring on the inside. He's one of those "sleeper" minor characters that can really make a book, and he offers the boys the tough, structured guidance that many of them lacked at home. I'm going to miss this book now that I'm done, but at least I have a bunch of other Mark Salzman titles to check out now. If you care about humanity, reading, writing, teaching, crime, rehabilitation, and overcrowded prisons, this is your book. And if you don't, this may well be your book anyway. Check it out.

True Notebooks is an insightful account of Salzman's volunteer experience as a writing instructor for juvenile offenders. It soon becomes apparent that he is as skillful as a teacher (although his instruction methodology for his students is not revealed) as he is a writer. The penetrating essays of his students are riveted with emotions of anxiety, guilt, revenge, remorse and love. Neither Salzman nor his students make excuses for their actions, but they too are challenged with their search for an explanation of their criminal behavior. The nature of the beast is self-analyzed, then exorcised through the newfound elixir of writing.Interestingly, the spoken language of the inmates is loaded with expletives; every response has one. Yet, expletives do not appear in their written essays!Salzman writes with such straight-forward, digestable language; it is hard to accept his revealing admission that he struggles greatly as a writer. His struggle is rewarded in the final product.

I fully understand the pull to intervene in no matter how small or large a way with the boys. Having been involved in Epiphany juvenile prison ministry since 1995, I am so glad to be present to the young inmates. We have completed 48 weekends at Western Youth Institution in NC and were back to have 'reunions' with them twice a month from 1998 until October of 2013 when the state closed the prison. Kudos to Mark for drawing out their creative side and being there with the boys to encourage them.a

This memoir is something else. I was a TA in a freshman English class that was assigned this book. It is a true store. My favorite part is that the boys' work is in the book unedited and their language is unedited. It adds so much to the story. You end up really caring for the boys and wishing the best for them. Strong characters. Well written. Great detail. Plus it's an easy book to read so you fly right through.

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Ebook Free Dreamland: The True Tale of America's Opiate Epidemic, by Sam Quinones

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About the Author

Sam Quinones is a journalist, author, and storyteller whose two acclaimed books of narrative nonfiction about Mexico and Mexican immigration—True Tales from Another Mexico and Antonio’s Gun and Delfino’s Dream—have made him, according to the San Francisco Chronicle Book Review, “the most original writer on Mexico and the border.” He writes True Tales: A Reporter’s Blog and edits Tell Your True Tale, a storytelling page. He lives in Southern California. Contact him at www.samquinones.com.

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Product details

MP3 CD

Publisher: Audible Studios on Brilliance Audio; Unabridged edition (April 19, 2016)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 1511336404

ISBN-13: 978-1511336406

Product Dimensions:

6.5 x 0.6 x 5.5 inches

Shipping Weight: 2.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review:

4.7 out of 5 stars

1,480 customer reviews

Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

#201,314 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

I'm an Obstetrician who is dealing with the repercussions of the opioid epidemic and countless babies struggling in the throes of neonatal abstinence syndrome (withdrawal).A whole generation of innocent babies afflicted by Purdue Pharma., JCAHO, quacks, charlatans, and savvy heroin dealers. It's a disgrace and a cultural regression that Sam Quinones has brilliantly brought to widespread public awareness with his book.

This book rocked my world. Shocking to me in many ways. The combination of misinformation, desire for monetary success, and ingenuity in "beating the system" created such havoc in this country. I won't be be able to forget this book.I spent half my childhood in Portsmouth, and visited it occasionally in the 1990s and 2000s. I saw the changes, but was unaware off the depths of corruption. I was stunned. Completely stunned.The author closes with news that Portsmouth is in recovery; I hope they defy all the "coasters" and cynics. I'll be looking for a way I can help even if in a small way.On the downside, I do wish the author hadn't referenced the delivery system as "like pizza" so many times; I got the point and the repetition made me hungry for Domino's.

This should be required reading--for everyone."Dreamland: The True Tale of America's Opiate Epidemic" is the tragic, frightening and prescient story of the heroin and opiate epidemic in the United States. And if you think none of this applies to you, that is all the more reason to read this book. Although it's especially corrosive in the heartland of Ohio, this is a nationwide problem, and we all need to be educated.Reading more like a novel or a detective story, this cross between journalism and storytelling traces the "perfect storm" that led so many people--from professionals to prostitutes, teachers to cheerleaders--to became hooked on painkillers. Occurring in tandem was the uptick in heroin addictions, led primarily from high-quality "black tar heroin" from Mexico with dealers following business models that rival the nation's best-run corporations and delivery methods as efficient as your favorite pizza parlor. And then all hell broke loose when the paths of opiates and heroin crossed.For five years author Sam Quinones did prodigious on-the-ground research to write this book that is on the one hand the most fascinating tale I have read in ages and on the other scarier than anything Stephen King could dream up--because this is real. And it's in your community. Find out how young men from Xalisco, Nayarit, a tiny village on the Pacific Coast of Mexico, became heroin entrepreneurs in the United States using methods that confused and confounded local law enforcement. Find out how Big Pharma embraced nefarious marketing methods for painkillers, especially OxyCotin, to convince family doctors to write millions of prescriptions. Find out how doctors, who were taught in medical school to be wary of prescribing addictive painkillers, found their hospitals' accreditation was at risk if patients were not aggressively treated for pain. Find out about quack MDs, who set up pill mills in hard-hit communities in southern Ohio and eastern Kentucky, became extremely wealthy off the residents' addictions. Find out how Walmart became an unwitting accomplice in the scourge of opiate addiction.But there is hope. A lot of hope. The book ends on a positive note about all that is being done--finally--to fight the opiate epidemic, especially in southern Ohio."Dreamland" is compelling , riveting and eye-opening because it is not only the story of what has happened, but also the tale of the people--the individual lives--who got caught up in it. I gave this book five stars, but I would give it 10 if I could.

One of the MOST important and riveting books I've read in a long time - and that is not an exaggeration! I rarely give 5 stars but this one deserves it. An incredible journey and comprehensive telling by perhaps one of our best living journalists of what went wrong leading to the opiate-heroin-drug-overdose-death epidemic in America, how easily opiates evolved into a heroin epidemic, ravaged small town America and then spread well beyond into comfortable communities of privilege.I came upon this book delving into trying to understand what has been going on in this country (starting with Hillbilly Elegy), and why despite reading broadly than most, I was so taken aback by the Nov'16 election outcome. The factors are myriad - and that journey continues - but what became obvious to me was that the opiate crisis particularly in places like Portsmouth Ohio or the Appalachia created much of the senseless destruction that contributed to it. It's only when that crisis reached "us" with the death of people like Philip Hoffman Seymour in 2014 did we even begin to pay attention. But it was too late. Given the garbage heap of non-essentials that the media shoves at us they largely missed the urgency of this story. Death due to drug overdoses exceeded those from car crashes as early as 2007!!! YES you read that right - 2007 - nearly a decade before we paid attention. How broadly was that publicized, and how deeply investigated? Thankfully for us there are journalists out there like Sam Quinones who researched it for 5 years and then wrote this tome.Besides being a great read because of his fantastic narrative style and passion for getting to the bottom of it, Quinones brings together a complete picture of all that played here. The opiate-heroin crisis resulted from a PERFECT STORM of varied factors coming together --- the drastic swing in the pain management pendulum with a change towards prescribing opiates starting in the '90's willy-nilly to one and all under the misguided - and to some extent deliberate - notion that they are not addictive when prescribed for pain "pain soaks up the euphoria"! There was no "data" or "study", instead a small paragraph in a letter to an editor of a medical journal that set this off. No one asked questions or asked to see the source! The man who wrote the paragraph had no intention nor data to support what was inferred.-- unethical companies like Purdue Pharma taking advantage of this new fad, pushing their drug(s) esp. OxyContin on anyone with ANY pain creating drug addicts who would never have gotten there. Purdue knew the "data" was faulty and that new addicts were being created everyday yet they pushed it hard until the end,-- unethical, often "quack" pill doctors who appeared at mushrooming "pain clinics" everywhere to provide willing Rx for OxyContin; they only took $250 in cash per visit!-- unlimited and unchecked Medicaid card, SSI, disability benefits that funded the pills; a medicaid card enabled you to get pills with a $3 copay that you could resell for thousands of dollars. One reason for the millions who are not employed nor looking for work...-- the appearance of black tar heroin from Mexico for which OxyContin happened to be the perfect gateway drug a lot cheaper and better quality (high potency) than the white powder; OxyContin traveled west and black tar heroin traveled east and the invasion was complete!-- a new business model for selling heroin via near unbreakable Mexican drug dealing cells where the heroin is delivered like pizza to customers along with great service by salaried drivers!Yes that's how crazy it got -- and we are only now beginning to understand and unravel let along address! Read on for an amazing book and incredible journey of learning.

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Paperback: 120 pages

Publisher: Independently published (July 10, 2018)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 1717718779

ISBN-13: 978-1717718778

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#323,955 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

As other reviewers have said, the cover is in bad shape, which is the whole point of purchasing this. The book I received has what looks like sticky stuff all over the front but isn’t sticky. The white on the words looks like the black part of the cover has smeared over it. The notebook paper inside looks very cheap. I bought this as a gift but returned due to poor quality.

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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Volume 16

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Jeremy Whitley is an American comic book writer and artist, known as the creator of the series Princeless. In 2011 Whitley joined Action Lab Entertainment as their official Director of Marketin. Jeremy has also co-written licensed properties, including the 2012 digital mini-series GlobWorld and the ongoing NFL RushZone. In addition to his original creations, he has written for IDW's My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and My Little Pony: Friends Forever.Tony Fleecs is the writer and artist of In My Lifetime, published in 2006 and an immediate critical success. Fleecs has since contributed to anthologies including Postcards: True Stories that Never Happened (nominated for the 2008 Eisner and Harvey awards for best anthology), Pulp Tales, and Wonderlost. His company Fleecs Design (who's talent roster includes only himself) has a client list that features Disney, 20th Century Fox, Marvel/Rittenhouse, The Milwaukee Brewers, Cincinatti Bengals, Pittsburgh Steelers, Monster Garage, and Taco John's. His comics have been published by Random House, Image, Boom!, IDW and Terminal Press.

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Product details

Age Range: 9 - 12 years

Grade Level: 4 - 7

Series: My Little Pony (Book 16)

Paperback: 120 pages

Publisher: IDW Publishing (April 2, 2019)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 1684054281

ISBN-13: 978-1684054282

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6.6 x 0.3 x 10.2 inches

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Ebook , by Pat Barker

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File Size: 1923 KB

Print Length: 292 pages

Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0385544219

Publisher: Doubleday (September 4, 2018)

Publication Date: September 4, 2018

Language: English

ASIN: B078VWKKNB

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Some of us took Latin in school because the Greek alphabet was the purview of fraternities and sororities, and we were by disposition and inclination “independents” from birth … and never gonna make Phi Beta Kappa in this lifetime, anyway. But, damnit, we loved Greek mythology! Ms. Barker does the Greeks (and definitely the Trojans) proud with her all-about-Achilles novel. At first I thought her writing too mundane for such grand subject matter. Where is Virgil when we need him?! For this I apologize. Her account of the last years of the Trojan War as related by Briseis aka Hippodameia (look her up!) is so compelling, so intimate, and so gory, I resented the fact that the novel ended.

As a classics major and Latin teacher for over thirty years, I have read many novels which retell the ancient myths from the female perspective. This was the most brutal but at the same time the most moving I have ever read. Reading it during the Kavanaugh hearings made it that much more meaningful. Beautifully written, this powerful book is a must read.

Greek myths, especially ones involving warfare are depicted primarily from the male perspective. This story departs from the usual recounting of the exploits of Achilles during the Trojan War in that Briseis is the central character. We see much of the protracted battle between the Greeks and the Trojans play out through her capture as Achilles’s war prize.The relationship triangle is explored among Achilles, Patroclus, and Briseis even though jealousy isn’t a primary factor. As Briseis is a slave, she adopts a realistic attitude of acquiescence to her servitude to survive. She bears witness to the unbreakable bond between Achilles and Patroclus and develops a strange sort of understanding of the anger that drives Achilles. Patroclus becomes her friend and treats her with unexpected but appreciated kindness.The day-to-day lives of the women slaves are described in excruciating detail. All the way from harem girls providing pleasure to women tending wounded soldiers, their existence alternates between hard labor, boredom, loneliness, pain, and terror. Briseis is one of the fortunate ones. As the prize of Achilles, she is given greater respect than most of the captured women, many of whom were former wives of Trojan aristocrats.Pat Barker’s writing puts you in the middle of the action. The story is immediate and unflinching. You smell the campfires, see the wounded men, and feel the sadness of the captured women. I offer a cautionary note that there are plenty of violent, brutal, and adult situations that some readers may not like.

This is my first Pat Barker book, and it's pretty good, but it's imperfect -- very imperfect. For one thing, the sentiments and vocabulary of Briseis are 21st Century sort-of feminist, and they seem misplaced in the pre-historic realm of the Trojan War. Second, the book switches from the first-person to third-person with no apparent reason; as a result, it's jarring and seems very gimmicky.Those two exceptions aside, the story of the end of the Trojan War continues to be riveting. As are the characters, the dialogue, the mise-en-scene, and so on. It's definitely a good read, but it's not great writing.

This is a strange one, as I admire the author’s earlier work and have read some great modern renditions of the classics recently (Circe, Burial at Thebes, Home Fire). This isn’t in their league. The style is surpassingly awkward, with endless hyphenated parentheticals interrupting the prose. Barker is apt to shift from first person singular to third person, then to first person plural in one sentence. The characters’ locutions are contemporary and common. And the narrator engages in a silly back and forth with the reader, who poses as interrogator. The theme that all history is male, and that women are enslaved by it, is not new, but perhaps especially appropriate now. But its presentation isn’t consistent or convincing. If it weren’t The Iliad, it wouldn’t be worth the read.

Great writing transcends time and place. I think it was Faulkner who, when asked why we read literature, said that we do it to be reminded of the internal truths of the human experience. Baker succeeds, drawing on Homer's Iliad, which some scholars have noted marks the beginning of Western literature.We all know the framework of the story: the Trojan War, a miscreant king, Agamemnon, and a demigod hero, Achilles. Homer sang of the wrath of Achilles, which of course involves a young woman, Briseis. Remarkable that no one seems to have ever written her story--until Baker, that is. We see the great war through her eyes after the invading Greeks destroy her town, slaughter her husband and brothers, and take her as a war prize, giving her to Achilles.Her story tells us much about suffering and survival, of honor and pain, but it also reminds asks us to think about the power of love. I don't mean romantic love, of course. Baker's aim is broader than that. Her description of King Priam pleading for the return of his son, for example, is heartbreaking. It is matched fully by Baker's touching description of Briseis' inner conflict, torn as she is between hating the enemy that changed her life forever but nevertheless finding it possible to forgive the man who made her a slave and then who did not.I hated reaching the final page, wishing that the book were longer, that the story would continue.

I have never read Pat Barker's other works but I will now. This is a beautifully written novel that brings alive the time of ancient Greece from the viewpoint of her main character. Really impressive. You won't regret your purchase.

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Download PDF Duped: Double Lives, False Identities, and the Con Man I Almost Married

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Duped: Double Lives, False Identities, and the Con Man I Almost Married

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Review

Abby Ellin's writing is everything her fiancé pretended to be: witty, vulnerable, brave, smart, and honest.―Michael Finkel, author of the National Bestseller, The Stranger in the Woods"Candid and entertaining, Ellin's book offers insight into the socially and psychologically complex nature of deceit as well as the choices she made as a duped woman. Lively, provocative reading."―Kirkus Reviews"The author's hybrid of memoir and journalism works well for general readers, keeping things engaging and witty...A timely book for folks who wonder how we ended up in this post-truth world as well as readers of bookslike A Beautiful, Terrible Thing (2017) by Jen Waite."―Booklist"Abby Ellin has been Duped, and in this fascinating book, she reveals how and why ordinary people are often deceived by extraordinarily mendacious con artists. Ellin's personal story leads her to delve deep into research of why people lie and how they lie, and she discovers how common treachery can be. If you've ever been lied to, or told a lie, you will want to read this surprising, personal, and funny investigation of deception."―Piper Kerman, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Orange is the New Black"I couldn't put it down!"―Gretchen Rubin, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Happiness Project and The Four Tendencies"From the wildly entertaining opening chapter of Duped, Abby Ellin explores the why and how of great imposters, many of whom occupied important swaths of her life. Swerving from the deceitful, manipulative, pathological narcissists to the professional use of lie detectors, she makes researching dishonesty an entertaining and fascinating read."―Jonna Hiestand Mendez, former CIA chief of disguise"I loved this book, and not just because of Abby Ellin's masterful storytelling. This is a book that can save lives. She paints an exquisite portrait of what life with a predator is like. No child should go to college without first reading this book."―Joe Navarro, former FBI agent and bestselling author of Dangerous Personalities"Thrilling, weird, and funny, Duped reveals the psychology of gaslighting, the prevalence of gullibility, and the wisdom in paranoia. Abby Ellin is a shrewd chronicler of cons and a gracious friend to the duped."―Ada Calhoun, author of Wedding Toasts I'll Never Give"I have recommended this one to friends who've loved someone they turned out not to know... [Ellin] pulls off the tricky balancing act of avoiding either self-justification or self-castigation...Reading 'Duped' gave me occasion to second-guess even gentler deceptions; it may actually have made me a (slightly) better person."―Tim Kreider, New York Times Book Review

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About the Author

Abby Ellin is an award-winning journalist and the author of Teenage Waistland: A Former Fat Kid Weighs In On Living Large, Losing Weight and How Parents Can (and Can't) Help. For five years she wrote the "Preludes" column about young people and money for the Sunday Money and Business section of the New York Times. She is also a regular contributor to the Health, Style, Business and Education sections of the New York Times. Her work has been published in The New York Times Magazine, New York, the Wall Street Journal, the Los Angeles Times Magazine, Psychology Today, Time, Newsweek, the Village Voice, the Boston Phoenix, Salon, Marie Claire, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, and Spy (RIP). She holds an MFA in Creative Writing from Emerson College and a Masters in International Public Policy from Johns Hopkins University. As of this writing, her greatest accomplishments are summiting Kilimanjaro (with a broken wrist!) and naming "Karamel Sutra" ice cream for Ben and Jerry's.

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Product details

Hardcover: 272 pages

Publisher: PublicAffairs; 1 edition (January 15, 2019)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 1610398009

ISBN-13: 978-1610398008

Product Dimensions:

6.4 x 1 x 9.6 inches

Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review:

3.9 out of 5 stars

61 customer reviews

Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

#34,724 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Years ago, on a blind date, the young man and I discovered we had a mutual acquaintance. I'll call her Lucy, and she'd been a housemate of mine for about a year. "So sad about her husband and son and that car bomb," he said. "Why are you laughing? That's horrible." And it would have been horrible if true, but when I'd lived with her two years before, the only husband I'd heard about was the groom she said she'd ditched the night before the wedding after being caught in bed with two of the fourteen bridesmaids."Did she tell you about the kidney transplant? " I asked."No it was brain surgery," he said. "That steel plate sets off metal detectors."And so it was with interest I picked up Duped, hoping to find out what makes people like Lucy and Ellin's Commander tick. Abby Ellin writes in a breezy, self-deprecating style. (She'd have to - she almost married a guy who told her on their first date that he'd examined Osama Bin Laden at Gitmo and even the President didn't know he'd been captured. Super secret - shhhhhhhh.) With an extensive list of footnoted sources, Ellin has compiled a collection of dupers and dupees and quotes various psychologists on why some people like to lie.Maybe there's not one, but it bothered me a bit that Ellin seems to make little distinction between self-aggrandizing fabulists like the Commander and adulterers, embezzlers and fugitives. I get why people lie not to get caught at something, although the scale of deception in some of her anecdotes is truly mind-boggling. I wanted insights into the people who make up stuff just because. She's also more sympathetic to liars like eco-terrorist Peter Young and double agent Kim Philby than I would be. "Oh to have such loyalty to a cause greater than myself!" (p 56, ARC). She never once mentions the hundreds of people killed thanks to Philby's information. Later in the book she talks about the PTSD suffered by Bernie Madoff's victims, but couches it in terms of an emotional response to betrayal (many of them were "Jewish, like Madoff") rather than the shattering of their financial stability. Both of those omissions are books on their own, but the lack of acknowledgement rankled.The book touches briefly on people who lie about their gender or gender preferences, which leads to a discussion about blaming the dupe. There's a chapter on women liars, and the book wraps up with a look at the dubious usefulness of polygraphs. A few casual digs at Republicans and the Trump administration are scattered as humor and will ultimately date the book. Overall I'd been hoping for more psychology and fewer anecdotes.

Ellin’s depiction of her former fiancé was such that I expected him to don a cape at their first meeting. Words like “swashbuckling rogue” immediately sprang to mind. Any man who mentions “secret missions” and the CIA, while spouting off the names of his famous alleged acquaintances, sounds suspicious and more like a boastful kid playing spy than a potential mate. Perhaps he was charming and convincing, but there were so many red flags here. Ellin seemed caught up in the whirlwind, drama and excitement, blithely excusing the lies and discrepancies. A rapid romance with all the right words and props, but little substance or reality. Effusive declarations of adoration too soon, then expectations quickly set low by small disappointments and evasions. Easier to see and say from a distance, than when in the midst of it, but love takes time to develop. The speed of the courtship alone was reason enough for legitimate concern. The “Commander” engineered a relationship with all the requisite trappings, but I just envisioned him onstage, acting out scenes in a sweeping emotional saga where he was the quintessential star, at least in his own mind. When Ellin finally realized his deliberate trickery, and the clouds cleared, her book then becomes more about the history of deception, why people opt to deceive and how to spot these stealthy perpetrators. Interesting research and interviews in this portion of the book. No one is immune to deception, and Ellin’s story describes the havoc and bewilderment that duplicity can render. Women are particularly vulnerable as we are often steeped in stubborn fairytales, when common sense, facts and discernment are required. A good read.

Abby Ellin tells such a riveting story of being duped, you won't be able to put her new book down. What I love is she doesn't blame and shame. When a woman is conned, everyone blames the victim. But Ellin doesn't. She tackles the trauma of being duped with empathy. This isn't just her story; she uses her reporting chops to tell other people's stories too, including that of double agent Kim Philby's treachery. I gobbled it up.

Even if you've never been duped, you've got to wonder about what motivates those conmen and why anyone would fall for their antics. Well, wonder no more. This is no con when i tell you that Ellin is a witty and smart writer. You'll be gripped by the narrative and intrigued by the science of it all.

I hate to leave any negative review, but this book seemed to me to be disjointed and poorly written. I was fascinated by the story when I heard the author's interview on NPR and was wanting to hear the whole story so I bought the book both hardback and ebook so I could start reading right away. After reading the first 50 pages or so, I felt like she had written her memoir out and an editor asked her to add more history from her life, so the story lops back and forth awkwardly in an unnatural and forced way. I shared this book with a close family member who worked for the DEA thinking that she would enjoy the story and theme, but she called me and said the same thing! She wanted to love it, but found it disjointed and not very well written. I love non fiction, and this is just my opinion, I just wish it lived up to my expectations. I'm still happy that the author took the time to share her experience and expose the commander in hopes of helping other women in the same situation.

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Duped: Double Lives, False Identities, and the Con Man I Almost Married PDF

Duped: Double Lives, False Identities, and the Con Man I Almost Married PDF

Duped: Double Lives, False Identities, and the Con Man I Almost Married PDF

Duped: Double Lives, False Identities, and the Con Man I Almost Married PDF